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Episode 13: The DBOMMX Files
DISCLAIMER
: The following is a parody. BUY THE F**KING GAME!
-X-
Cross Tag Mansion. 10:00~ish in the morning
: Ugh, why is the house so quiet? Again?
: I dunno. It's been quiet since Orie and I got here. With it being quiet, we're starting to think that it's bullshit that this place is chaotic.
: Trust us, when it get's crazy, it gets crazy.
: Where's Platinum?
: She missed the ride.
: Well, with an absent Platinum, as well Ragna, Noel, Yang, Orie and Yu all being out. So it's naturally somewhat quieter.
: Remind me, why did they leave again?
: They went shopping. We ran out of cookies, eggs and salt.
: Y'all are fuckers for stealing my boiled eggs.
: Hey man, they're pretty good!
: I'm just wondering when the crazy starts happening.
: 3...2...1...
*The door burst open, and in came Hyde and Ruby. Hyde was carrying a box.*
: Hey guys! You need to see this!
: We found a bunch of old dvds! You guys wanna watch?
: Well, the boredom is starting to kill us. Whatcha got?
: Let me see...Oh...OH...ohohohohohahaha!
: What is it?
: Hands down, the internet's biggest enemy, VS debates, but animated! We got DvDs of Death Battle, One Minute Melee and Death Battle Exhibition!
: ...on second thought, let's just stick to being bored.
: Hold on a moment, I see Ragna on two of the DvD covers.
: Yu's on two of them as well.
: Hyde's G-friend Orie's on one too.
: And Noel's on one as well.
: And is that...Yang?
: This just got interesting, never knew that those kiddies were on in these.
: We have GOT to see these!
: I still haven't forgiven them for Goku vs Superman...
: What are we waiting for? Let's watch them!
-X-
One hour later...
The couches were all set up in front of the 72-inch, plasma screen TV, with Netflix. (No, it's not 3D. That's a stupid fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!)
: Alright, everyone comfy? Which one should we start with?
: Let's go in chronological order. So the first one would be...my brother against Sol Badguy.
: What kind of a name is that?
: I dunno. Our GG pals have a life just as confusing as ours.
: Ragna's got this in the bag!
: I dunno, that Sol guy looks pretty powerful.
A majority of the BlazBlue group started to smirk.
(A/N: Please refrain from getting salty in the comments.)
: Let's see what happens.
After Ragna vs Sol Badguy...
Oh COME on!
: *Clicks tongue* Yep, went the way we thought it would.
: Even Nu knew it would end like this.
: Ragna may be powerful, but Sol is on a completely different level than all of us.
: Now I see why they didn't get an invitation.
: T-that's only a FRACTION of his true power?!
: H-how OP would he be if he used his FULL power?!
: More OP than your mind can comprehend. But i'm sorta miffed that they left out a ton of info from both of them in the lore. They did shitty research on it.
: The 'That Man' joke was funny though.
: Next up, Bloodedge is going up against...some guy that looks like him.
After Dante vs Ragna the Bloodedge...
: YEAH! GO RAGNA!
: Ragna wrecked that pretty boy!
: Oh this is some bullshit!
: Hazama, he absorbed the power of 3 Susanoo units, and Dante's Devil Trigger would stand no chance against the Black Beast.
: No not that, they got his colors wrong!
: I will admit that was a stupid move on their part.
: The damn description literally says 'Red Coats? White Hair?', and they screw that up.
: Man, Ragna gets the short end of the stick even in these, huh?
: Let's see, Ragna's fights are done, next up is Yang's.
: Uh oh.
After Yang vs Tifa...
: ...
: ...
: ...
: Uh, guys?
: I guess they didn't take Yang's finisher well...
: Yang would never do that. Boomstick's chance for a retirement to Remnant just burned up.
: Did that show just turn her into a sociopath?
: I'm glad Yang won, but...that was a little dark. Even for a show like this.
: But it was awesome...
: No. It really wasn't.
: Moving on, it's Orie. Let's see what she brings up to the table.
After Asuna vs Orie...
: Hell yeah! There we go!
: Kicking the trash into the can. That's our Orie!
: I don't think Asuna even had a chance.
: Come on guys, can't you be more respectful?
: The only reason you're sympathizing Asuna, is cause you're both flat.
: SHUT UP!
: Ah well, Narukami's up next.
After Yu Narukami vs Polnareff...
: That's my bro!
: He ain't our leader for nothing!
: He kicked ass!
: And your next line will be...
& : Our leader can't be beat!
: We'll see about that. Kido, what's Narukami's next fight?
: Um, against Jotaro Kujo.
: But wait, didn't he help Jotaro earlier?
: I believe that DBX is a separate continuity.
: Alright! Let's see him kick some more Stand ass!
After Jotaro vs Yu...
A majority of the girls left to throw up at the finisher.
: Damn...
: Nu liked it.
: Well...it was nice he was thinking of me.
: Is that seriously what you can think of right now?
: Alright, after the ladies finish losing their lunches, let's look at the last fight, featuring everyone's favourite toaster.
: Huh, Aigis is fighting Noel. Wonder if Aigis'll join us?
: As much as I want SEES to join us, I don't think they'll be able to.
After Aigis vs Noel Vermillion...
: ...this might be one of the few times Noel impressed me.
: Well, she can be useful...at times.
: Well, Aigis put up a good fight.
: Maybe she'll get a rematch if she joins us.
The door opens, and in comes Ragna, Noel, Yu, Orie and Yang with the groceries.
: Oh, hey guys. What are you watching?
: Sol Badguy nuking you, you wrecking Dante with hax, Yu beating up a stand user before another one blows him up, Orie destroying trash, Noel being useful and my personal favorite, Yang snapping Tifa's neck. You earned my respect.
Yang throws a chair at Hazama.
: YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M TRYING TO FORGET THAT!
Yang started to beat the shit out of Hazama, while the others looked to Ragna, Noel, Yu and Orie for answers.
: Just...try not to mention what we did in those fights.
: None of us like to think about it.
: Who's idea WAS it to watch them?
Almost all of them point to Ruby and Hyde.
: ...Hyde, you do realize this means i'm not making love with you for two months, right?
: You're not getting any of the cookies, Ruby.
The Cross Tag Mansion was filled with the screams of despair from Hyde and Ruby, while Hazama gave screams of pain.
STINGER
*At the airport*
: They think they can leave Luna behind, well, they thought wrong, and they will PAY!
CREDITS
Story Written By:
Characters (In Order of Appearance):
Yuuki Terumi
Hazama
Kanji Tatsumi
Weiss Schnee
Rachel Alucard
Yukiko Amagi
Jin Kisaragi
Blake Belladonna
Yosuke Hanamura
Chie Satonaka
Nu-13
Ruby Rose
Hyde Kido
Gordeau the Harvester
Linne
Ragna the Bloodedge
Yang Xiao Long
Orie Palladia
Yu Narukami
Noel Vermillion
Platinum The Trinity
Music:
Corn Dog - Persona Q
Fight Animators:
XxZackAttack27xX - Ragna the Bloodedge vs Sol Badguy
stroll-around-the-world - Dante vs Ragna the Bloodedge
Torrian Crawford - Yang Xiao Long vs Tifa Lockhart
AquilaHarukaze - Asuna Yuuki vs Orie Palladia, Aigis vs Noel Vermillion
Warrenbark - Yu Narukami vs Jean Pierre Polnareff
Maniac - Jotaro Kujo vs Yu Narukami
Suggested Collections
© 2018 - 2024 AutobotHoneflash
Comments9
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2 Shenanigans in 1 day?! AWESOME!!!